Big beautiful dating
No matter how many magazines start featuring plus-size women, in mainstream white culture, a woman who’s heavy isn’t considered as attractive as a woman who’s not.
I grapple with the term because what’s the difference between a fetish and a preference?Before that, I didn’t understand that there were people out there who preferred a round body with curves and boobs and a butt and lots of fat.Now I know that the skinny white girl is not the ideal to everyone.A man approached me on the subway when I was 24 and wanted my phone number desperately. I was once fooling around with someone I’d been out with a few times.He kept saying over and over, “I think you’re beautiful.” My first instinct was, This is a joke, someone put him up to it—which says a lot about where I was at that point. Experience, age and understanding that a lot of people attracted to me because of (or in spite of) my size takes away some of the nervousness I used to feel on dates. I was trying to move over him, and he said, “Your weight is hurting me.” That brought me back to reality. I was wearing a new outfit and these really hot tights, and in one fell swoop, he brought me down a little bit.I think they like the juxtaposition of hard and soft.
They like the feeling of being with someone who’s bigger than they are and the voluptuousness of another body.
This piece was bought by a national women’s magazine, then killed, and I think now is the time to post it. I’m also a publicist, an extrovert, a bargain-shopper extraordinaire and an unbelievably good friend.
*** I was on a date recently and a woman sat down at the next table, catty-corner to me. But what’s most visible about me, what defines me before I even open my mouth, is my size.
It makes such an obvious statement—that no one would ever find me attractive because of my weight.
I guess it’s hard to say to somebody, “I have a great girl for you, but she’s fat—are you okay with that? People are image-conscious, and it takes a very secure man to advertise his preference for a woman of size.
We're personally inspired by role models like Kirstie Alley, 63, who tears up the floor on "Dancing With The Stars," and was quick to defend Lady Gaga after the media frenzy over her weight gain."It's Hollywood that is obsessed with weight. Lean is better than not lean, but I think we send a horrible message to the world, especially to girls," Alley told People.