How to know if i should keep dating him
We've never discussed like "where do you see this relationship going," but i'm moving overseas for university in 1 year and he said he would like to move out of our city too (not necessarily together, but he's open to moving to where I am).However, although we get on really well we had a major problem a couple of months ago where the way he acted was a deal-breaker for me (to do with total lack of support) and I was really upset because I thought I would have to break up with him but everything else in our relationship is great.
I see where he is coming from but I don t know if I should keep seeing him because idk if he s saying this as an excuse because he s not that into me or it s just cuz old his past relationships.After the 3rd time of us hu he became distant for a lil, but after a week he started communicating a lot again.At the 2nd month of seeing him all his friends and even him told me he was over his ex.But then I figured that it meant we wouldn't end up together, but that has nothing to do with the short-term so i'll just keep dating him with the knowledge that it's for fun (which it is).My question is, should I tell him that I couldn't have a future with him because I need someone who's there for me when I really need them?(I think that will hurt him, and I don't want to risk breaking up a good thing because of it) c) ask him where he sees this relationship going (and if he says 'long-term' tell him why I don't see that) d) Tell him i'd like to be able to have a long-term relationship with him but I can't because of this deal-breaker (pros: maybe he didn't realise how much it affects me and he will try harder? Now, I am not saying your guy is a ****, he probably isn't, but maybe he just needs a little help. My question would be-what did you need his support with and did you show him you actually needed his support.
) If the answer is tell him, how on earth do I do that in a way that isn't like a semi-break up, I dont want to crush him (or our myself). First of all, you probably know that these days it's hard to find someone to date for over months and still have fun with them. Guys don't get hints, and they sometimes just sit there thinking of...well, pretty much nothing. I wouldn't suggest you tell him: "Hey, it's all so fun with you, but I am not seeing us together in the long-term".
But he just shut down and said he wouldn't go, even though it's 1 hour of his time in exchange for lots of my happiness and my relationship with my parents.
And what's more saddening is that he's not even anti-religious or anything, he just doesn't want to go. Everything else is good, but I don't know if I can be with someone long-term who doesn't support me and when i'm distraught and crying about it won't be there for me.
This will probably hurt him a lot, even if he doesn't see you two getting married either.
It just sounds like you are using him, until you find someone better.
Should I: a) leave things as they are (maybe he's not thinking long-term - do I need to say it's not gona be forever?