Kids and divorced parents dating
Look for people who like to do the same things as you do. They offer a casual group setting and regularly scheduled meet-ups, and allow you to do something while you're getting to know the other person.
Since hitting the bars is out, start by "dating" for friends, Baumgartner suggests.Stifling Statistics It's no secret that children of divorced parents are more likely to get divorced, says Christina Steinorth, California-based psychotherapist and author of "Cue Cards For Life: Thoughtful Tips for Better Relationships." Studies indicate that daughters of divorced parents have a 60-percent higher divorce rate in marriages than children of non-divorced parents, and sons have a 35-percent higher divorce rate, says Steinorth."Part of the reason is that when parents are divorced," she says, "it seems to send a message in a non-direct way that divorce is acceptable."To combat the unfavorable odds against your child's future relationships, Steinorth recommends having age-appropriate conversations with your children about the general reasons behind their divorce."Many assume that one or both of their parents 'give up' on love, so the children feel dispirited as well." Duffy suggests that parents be clear that they believe in marriage and stress to their children that it's worth the risk to experience a close relationship.RELATED: People You Need on Your Side in a Divorce Trust Issues Healthy relationships are built on trust; however, many children of divorced parents struggle with trust when working through their own relationship challenges, especially if they have witnessed a breakdown of trust between their own parents.Parents who have a shared custody agreement may have evenings without the kids that they can use to schedule dates. You fill out a profile and it matches you with other like-minded mothers in your area." A potential friend and someone to swap babysitting with? Dating has changed since you were single, and so have you.
Don't have shared custody or family or friends in the area? You're older now, hopefully wiser, and have kids to consider.
"Showing that you can still treat your ex-spouse with dignity and respect helps your children learn that disagreements don't need to lead to a complete breakdown in a relationship."Anxiety Witnessing a parent's relationship unravel as a child can ignite feelings of anxiety when dating in the future. John Duffy, Chicago-based psychotherapist and author of "The Available Parent," children of divorce often focus too much on failed relationships and assume they will experience the same fate.
"I've worked with several girls who have sworn off marriage because of anxiety about getting hurt emotionally," he says.
"In these instances, the daughters are very angry at their fathers and are greatly challenged to forgive."Fostering these feelings of betrayal will continue to affect your child when the emotions are deep, strong and complicated, says Walfish.
Parents can help a child cope with trust issues early on by maintaining a cordial co-parenting relationship with each other.
If you want to date, you'll have to make time in your life for it.