Racist parents dating
For example, my parents grew up in a world of multi-generational families where girls “left” the family to become a part of someone else’s.
I remember my Chinese grandfather saying at some point, “I can’t stand black people” but he honestly didn’t have a clue why. ” Whereas, if you talked to him about any other culture/ race, he’d at least be able to tell you why he approved or disapproved.Monica: I believe the way Asians categorize themselves changes depending on the context.The “whiter” you look (in skin color or features), the higher status you have.But his mother shared with me that when she shows them a picture of me, her white colleagues look surprised and confused—because she never mentioned my race.That’s when she’d remember, “Oh yeah, you’re racist…” Except that many people wouldn’t think of it as racism; given the tremendous history of slavery and the civil rights movement, there is far more awareness and concern about white racism in this country.You can see it with the mestizas in the Philippines.
When they are in Asia they are considered to be “fair” yet when they go to a Caucasian country their skin tones and features are labeled as “dark” or “other.” The mestiza complexion signifies power and wealth in one situation and working class/ immigrant in another.
Jia Jia: My sense is that white parents probably distinguish more on value systems and less on race, while Asian parents generally conflate status with race– i.e.
Europeans/ whites have higher status while everyone else/ non-whites have lower status.
This kind of racism is easier to remedy for Asian parents because all you have to do is provide them with some sort of context.
In the abstract, my mom would be uncomfortable with my marrying someone who was Latino, but after meeting and loving my ex-boyfriend’s Latino mother, the issue of racial difference never ever came up again.
I know that my mother has described certain South Asians, Middle Easterners or Latinos as attractive, but has never expressed a similar sentiment toward African-Americans (except Barack Obama and Beyonce).